Now I'd like to say I'm good at holding my own when it comes to alcohol. And I usually am. But contrary to the Black Eyed Peas, tonight wasn't a good night. All in all. Aaron and I had a blast.
But for me, if there's one thing that goes wrong. I have trouble letting it go. It's not that I got tanked or loaded in anyway. I just had a couple of drinks and an ego.
This whole past week Aaron and I have been talking about comedy and doing awkward things in person. Aaron tells me these stories, some that involve him saying horribly vile things. Now as I'm laughing at these things I'm thinking, jesus, I should try this too. To try breaking my comfort zone so to speak.
1) After 3 Pints, Aaron and I are at the bar seats and the Waitress comes over and I make silly remark about how the old people can even dance to this shit AC/DC cover band's song. She laughs. Then says
"Omg wait till you see the guy in the Red shirt dance".
And while being in the mind set to be weird, rude, and awkward. I say something like
"We'll if he dances as good as he looks then he's a keeper."
I soon realize that none of that made any sense and made me seem homosexual. But whatever, as ridiculous as it was, I tell Aaron this, he laughs we get another pitcher of beer.
2) Earlier on we saw some old acquaintances 2 guys, and 1 girl (and her friend, also a girl). One of the guys I remember in high school as being a jokester/prankster. The Raven of the high school party club, so to speak. He had even made some witty and obscene jokes himself. After the night was pretty much over. I go to say good bye to him and the others. With his knee is out and a quiet moment, I go for it. Another stupid joke. I pretend to sit on his knee and do the ol' Kris Kringle and say something stupid like "Ohhh so I want a Pony and I want a..." Fuck off we've all done it before.
So, what I thought would break the silence, turned into him saying. "Get off me or I'll punch you in the Balls."
Now, as a man. I understand where he's coming from. I was in the wrong, however; being tanked and with this guy that I thought was a friend who also joked around, I wasn't realllly in the wrong. He did/said worse things than I did just 5 mins. ago. Fuck people can't joke anymore. Maybe I'm not good at this comedy thing?
3) So Aaron and I are walking these two girls home. I'm pretty sure they're both drunk. Any hoo, half way through the walking we realize that we're all going to have to split soon. One of the girls offers to drive everyone home. As her house is closest and she has a vehicle, we all agree. When it came time to get in her car, it was all frozen over. Naturally, Aaron and I offer to scrape it off. There's some like...
"No we'll do it",
"No it's OK you're driving us, we'll do it."
"But no you walked us home blah blah blah".
Finally I said,
"Don't worry, I'll do it. Like a Gynecologist, I'm good at scraping things".
There was like a good 3 Mississippis before the girls caught on. The one said "Oh I get it. Ew."
The other said "That's gross and not funny."
I got a drive home and here I am after a night of miscommunication.
Your Friend,
Bryan
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tonight's going to be a good night.
No, not the African American Eyed Pees, that Paul McCartney one, Tonight Goodnight or Goodnight Tonight or some shit. ANYWAYS, It's Canada vs. russia and I want Canada to break them.
Now I'm a man of peace. I enjoy people getting along. But the Russians aren't people. It's just by mere coincidence that I fought a russian a couple months back and broke my hand. This has nothing to do with my hate for russia.
So right now I'm sitting down with a Rye (canadian whiskey) & Ginger with my brand new Ukulele I just bought.
YES 5-1 for Canada, Fuck you Boris from GoldenEye.
Sometimes I think wonder what it would have been like if Winston Churchill had invaded Russia after WWII. (wiki: operation Unthinkable)
SWEET 6-1.
So anyhoo I got this Uke today. Like 55 bucks for an instrument. Why not? Something new to conquer. It's really quite fun. I just want to go out in the sun with it. To bad I can't just yet.
K its now some how 7-3 for Canada.
Some other thoughts. Billy Zane. You are the best worst actor of all time. You are not good. But I like you for some reason. You should get into more Hollywood films. Your last one was with Uwe Boll. Really? Alright, you were in the Titanic. So I forgive you. But I think when I see you Billy Zane it reminds me, reminds me that there's a bald person inside all of us. Deep down inside.
Anyways I'll keep you up dated with my Uke skills.
Your Friend,
Bryan
Now I'm a man of peace. I enjoy people getting along. But the Russians aren't people. It's just by mere coincidence that I fought a russian a couple months back and broke my hand. This has nothing to do with my hate for russia.
So right now I'm sitting down with a Rye (canadian whiskey) & Ginger with my brand new Ukulele I just bought.
YES 5-1 for Canada, Fuck you Boris from GoldenEye.
Sometimes I think wonder what it would have been like if Winston Churchill had invaded Russia after WWII. (wiki: operation Unthinkable)
SWEET 6-1.
So anyhoo I got this Uke today. Like 55 bucks for an instrument. Why not? Something new to conquer. It's really quite fun. I just want to go out in the sun with it. To bad I can't just yet.
K its now some how 7-3 for Canada.
Some other thoughts. Billy Zane. You are the best worst actor of all time. You are not good. But I like you for some reason. You should get into more Hollywood films. Your last one was with Uwe Boll. Really? Alright, you were in the Titanic. So I forgive you. But I think when I see you Billy Zane it reminds me, reminds me that there's a bald person inside all of us. Deep down inside.
Anyways I'll keep you up dated with my Uke skills.
Your Friend,
Bryan
Sunday, February 21, 2010
New Beginnings - Bullshit
Bull shit, just fucking utter bull shit. I don't want to do this fucking blog. But dang nabbit I need to rant somewhere. I'm apart of the Fresh off the Film world. My name is Bryan Brooks. I like movies, building stuff, porn, obscene amounts of alcohol, and loud music.
This must sound like I'm a travesty to society. In reality, for film I like Comedies and Musicals. For building stuff, I enjoy carpentry. For porn, I only go for Production Value (You know, nice lighting, good acting). For Alcohol, I drink loads of Grand Marnier. And for loud music I enjoy Classical, Rock, Canadian Rock, some Gypsy Jazz, Rockibilly, etc, etc. So I sound destructive; however, there's more than meets the eye.
I've had Two girlfriends, and have been cheated on 3 times (probably more that I don't know about). So, currently the thought of girl friends is out of the question. Women are fucked.
I know that sounds unfair. Because men are just as fucking stupid. But I can relate to that stupidity. So fuck you.
I used to draw, then I started drinking.
I enjoy driving around.
I'm currently in the Film Biz. which is pretty awesome. Tons a' fun. Went to college for that shit. Came out with a short film (comedy musical) that is currently being denied to every festival on the North American Film Festival circuit. I'm pretty excited though that one of the festivals I spent $400 on will accept it. Or even if the one of the ones that denied my film sent the film back to me. That would be nice.
I have a weird family.
My talents lie in making other people happy even at my own expense, Acting, Photography, drinking lots, having people walking all over me, going on bad dates, being horrible in bed, winning at GoldenEye 007 for the N64, playing the guitar, drawing, making elderly people happy, opening presents at Christmas, listening to others/being a shoulder to cry on, and adventuring into the woods.
The only thing I could marry is Science.
That's all that I can think to tell you about for now. I didn't really have any thing to go on about. But I needed to start somewhere. A New Beginning to a blog seemed fitting.
Your Friend,
Bryan
This must sound like I'm a travesty to society. In reality, for film I like Comedies and Musicals. For building stuff, I enjoy carpentry. For porn, I only go for Production Value (You know, nice lighting, good acting). For Alcohol, I drink loads of Grand Marnier. And for loud music I enjoy Classical, Rock, Canadian Rock, some Gypsy Jazz, Rockibilly, etc, etc. So I sound destructive; however, there's more than meets the eye.
I've had Two girlfriends, and have been cheated on 3 times (probably more that I don't know about). So, currently the thought of girl friends is out of the question. Women are fucked.
I know that sounds unfair. Because men are just as fucking stupid. But I can relate to that stupidity. So fuck you.
I used to draw, then I started drinking.
I enjoy driving around.
I'm currently in the Film Biz. which is pretty awesome. Tons a' fun. Went to college for that shit. Came out with a short film (comedy musical) that is currently being denied to every festival on the North American Film Festival circuit. I'm pretty excited though that one of the festivals I spent $400 on will accept it. Or even if the one of the ones that denied my film sent the film back to me. That would be nice.
I have a weird family.
My talents lie in making other people happy even at my own expense, Acting, Photography, drinking lots, having people walking all over me, going on bad dates, being horrible in bed, winning at GoldenEye 007 for the N64, playing the guitar, drawing, making elderly people happy, opening presents at Christmas, listening to others/being a shoulder to cry on, and adventuring into the woods.
The only thing I could marry is Science.
That's all that I can think to tell you about for now. I didn't really have any thing to go on about. But I needed to start somewhere. A New Beginning to a blog seemed fitting.
Your Friend,
Bryan
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