Bryan's Fliff Night

Now I'd like to say I'm good at holding my own when it comes to alcohol. And I usually am. But contrary to the Black Eyed Peas, tonight wasn't a good night. All in all. Aaron and I had a blast.
But for me, if there's one thing that goes wrong. I have trouble letting it go. It's not that I got tanked or loaded in anyway. I just had a couple of drinks and an ego.

This whole past week Aaron and I have been talking about comedy and doing awkward things in person. Aaron tells me these stories, some that involve him saying horribly vile things. Now as I'm laughing at these things I'm thinking, jesus, I should try this too. To try breaking my comfort zone so to speak.

1) After 3 Pints, Aaron and I are at the bar seats and the Waitress comes over and I make silly remark about how the old people can even dance to this shit AC/DC cover band's song. She laughs. Then says
"Omg wait till you see the guy in the Red shirt dance".
And while being in the mind set to be weird, rude, and awkward. I say something like
"We'll if he dances as good as he looks then he's a keeper."
I soon realize that none of that made any sense and made me seem homosexual. But whatever, as ridiculous as it was, I tell Aaron this, he laughs we get another pitcher of beer.

2) Earlier on we saw some old acquaintances 2 guys, and 1 girl (and her friend, also a girl). One of the guys I remember in high school as being a jokester/prankster. The Raven of the high school party club, so to speak. He had even made some witty and obscene jokes himself. After the night was pretty much over. I go to say good bye to him and the others. With his knee is out and a quiet moment, I go for it. Another stupid joke. I pretend to sit on his knee and do the ol' Kris Kringle and say something stupid like "Ohhh so I want a Pony and I want a..." Fuck off we've all done it before.
So, what I thought would break the silence, turned into him saying. "Get off me or I'll punch you in the Balls."
Now, as a man. I understand where he's coming from. I was in the wrong, however; being tanked and with this guy that I thought was a friend who also joked around, I wasn't realllly in the wrong. He did/said worse things than I did just 5 mins. ago. Fuck people can't joke anymore. Maybe I'm not good at this comedy thing?

3) So Aaron and I are walking these two girls home. I'm pretty sure they're both drunk. Any hoo, half way through the walking we realize that we're all going to have to split soon. One of the girls offers to drive everyone home. As her house is closest and she has a vehicle, we all agree. When it came time to get in her car, it was all frozen over. Naturally, Aaron and I offer to scrape it off. There's some like...
"No we'll do it",
"No it's OK you're driving us, we'll do it."
"But no you walked us home blah blah blah".
Finally I said,
"Don't worry, I'll do it. Like a Gynecologist, I'm good at scraping things".
There was like a good 3 Mississippis before the girls caught on. The one said "Oh I get it. Ew."
The other said "That's gross and not funny."

I got a drive home and here I am after a night of miscommunication.

Your Friend,
Bryan