Entry log #7 -The Untitle-ing

Well, usually I'd be ranting now. But I don't have anything bad to say! I'm too happy. :D It's weird man... Kinda scary! So here's the deal. Me and this girl I've been talking about; Shaina, are now dating. It's awesome. Too good. lol New Bryan is saying just enjoy it! But old mid2009-mid2010 Woman Hating Bryan is saying thinking horrible things.

Aaron says Shaina has soften me up. I didn't know I was that edgy. In retrospect I can see what he meant. I didn't really care too much about my looks/what people thought of me this past year. And I'm glad I was like that. I learned a lot for sure, however; I think I'm back to the old original Bryan, High school Bryan, but Adult Bryan.
I like caring again. I like having someone care about me. And having someone genuine. So this whole thing has been a circle. I feel like I'm me again.

It's been good hanging out with her. We have great chats and laugh a lot. But then I have to remember it's only two weeks in. So I feel as if I should step back a bit. I don't know what to think. Do I just be laid back and see where it goes, or do I get attached and hang on. I'm still very skeptical I suppose. But when I see her I think. Why? Why should I be laid back Bryan. She gorgeous, caring, fun, ambitious. So I don't know.

It's Negative Bryan fighting Positive Bryan.

Do I want to go in head first and risk it and be hurt again like I have been twice before? Or maybe I'd go in head first and possibly have this absolutely beautiful relationship.

I don't know. It's a weird thing.
Well all's I knows is this girl is Sane and I like her a lot. So Why not? Dex would be proud. Haha me and Dexter had this saying in College. "Why not".

I think I now understand what it really means.

So that's whats been on my mind. She also put her hand on my wall :) By that I mean... In my house, I have a room where I go to get away from the world. It's called my 'Jam' room. It used to be my old bed room. Now it's where my friends and I hangout. So I ended up taking the doors off my closet and putting a couch in it. LOL I know, it's awesome. But on the inside of the closet I get my friends to draw an outline of there hand and then Sign/Date the inside of the hand. So Shaina's is in there. I just wish I didn't have my other EX gf's hand in there. I feel it's insulting to put someone like Shaina's hand beside it. I HATE, I LOATH my exes. And I love my friends. So to have the ex's hand up on the wall frustrates me to have it beside the people I do love.
I've thought about painting over it.
Something tells me I shouldn't. It's like erasing over something I learned a lot from. Even though I hate it. I have to keep it. To remind me. Or something poetic like that.

Other things. I miss my sister misty a lot. I wish I was better to her :(

Schaaweeeeeet

Cool, more work coming up. It feels like forever since I've worked with Alex (my gaffer).
I say that as if I've been working with other people/jobs. But Alex is the only one that gets me work. lol If it wern't for him I'd still be P.A'ing.

I've been working hard on the old Final Cut Pro and i just posted Scrabble Night 2.
People seem to like it. As Alex said. "...it's always hard to follow up such a great first piece." Which is true. I think the first one was funnier. Having said that the Acting might have been better in the Scrabble 2.
He also offered some good advice. Which is really nice from someone who's been in the biz for over 20 years.

What else
OH and im seeing a lady friend now ;)
Remember the girl I was talking about in the last post? Ya we're dating now.

So things are going good now. Weathers gettin' warmer. Starting to jog again.

lol give it a week and I'll go back to being pissy ol' Bryan

Yours,
Bryan

New gal?

OK. So I promised myself that I'd post this.

I like a girl... I have a crush on a girl.

Shut the fuck up. I know, I know... sigh.
But seriously... She's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hot. I mean not like, "damn gurl, chu hot" ... I mean like MODEL hot... This girl is like a Victoria Secret model and she doesn't even know it!

And for some reason... She likes me?

The thing is... on the first date, I fucked up. I was swearing like a pirate. I didn't have a good control of my mouth. I was SO hammered.
The second date I was shy and awkward. But the third date I kissed her. :)


Now tomorrow we're going on our 6th date to the zoo. I hope I don't fuck up. She's uber cute and sooo cool. I can talk to her on a friend level which is nice.

More from me about this topic... hopefully more topics will come of this.

yours, Bryan